Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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