you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
