Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
