If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
