i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
