We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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