ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
