Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
