If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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