it was like his penis was on wheels.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
