ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize