So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize