Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize