If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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