No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize