i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize
