Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
