I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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