girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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