I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
