No, drunk sperm still make babies.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My penis needs a shock collar
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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