she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
