i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
