Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
