I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
