I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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