is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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