I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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