had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
