I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
