hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
