WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
