We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I am mentally ready for anal.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'm always down for nudity.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
