Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
