I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
