I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
