do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i think i have two assholes
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
