Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
