paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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