I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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