Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
