id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
