sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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