"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
