When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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