i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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