thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i just google imaged poop.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
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