Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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