im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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