He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Randomize