currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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