sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
