you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
