ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
