Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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