batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
