dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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