Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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