Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
