If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I smell stomach acid.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Success! We fucked roommates!
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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