Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
