k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
