Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
