Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
